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I was in a War.

Posted on March 22, 2015 by thefiercestfeminist

He asked me
where my scars
came from.

I told him it
was a battle.

I was in a war
against
myself.

~Rachel<3

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Posted in creative writing, human, humanity, life, literature, love, personal, poem, poetry, writingTagged beautiful, creative writing, human, humanity, life, lit, literature, love, past, poem, poetry, self harm, spoken word

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They were Mine (Spoken Word)

Don’t Give Up

One thought on “I was in a War.”

Dom says:

March 22, 2015 at 9:49 pm

Powerful piece! Nice job!

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I hate how you're going through hell, When you'd never let anyone else❤️ - - I used to think it was weak to have emotions or to cry in front of people. I stopped being an emotional person in my teens, because I learned to keep them inside. And I started to ignore all those feelings I had inside. I’d let my emotions build into one big pile of shit, and then it would all come out in one big relapse. To me, and the people who I knew, it was ‘cool’ to act like you didn’t care. - - Sadly, I still go by that idea, and it makes it difficult to hold meaning relationships. Even when I have people telling me I can talk to them, or to give them a bit of the burden I’m holding- I just can’t. I’ve spent so long being by myself in my struggles and I find it weird when someone tells me that I can talk to them, or to have a conversation with them about what’s getting me down. - - I know lots of people find it ‘frustrating’ that someone didn’t talk to them in a bad time. However, it’s important to understand that talking is the biggest step we may have taken in a while. After you’ve been shamed for self harming or your mental health struggles, opening up can be really hard. - - You can talk to people, you can open up, and you don’t have to carry the world alone ❤️❤️ - - - - #law #legallyblonde #legal #legallyfiercefeminist #me #nature #landscape #halloween #sabrina #singlegirl #singlelife #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #selflove #selfawareness #wellness #motivation #wellbeing #feminist #feminism #feministblog

Who gave it all, and held you up when nobody else gave a fuck? 🤔 - - This comes after my post last night about ending my long term relationship I ended two years ago. I was sick of being a crutch when a relationship isn’t about that kind of thing. I’m not here to be a MOTHER to a boy who doesn’t know how to be a human. - - We’re not here to be parents and teach our partners how to live their life. It doesn’t exactly scream romance. Why are we always the ones who create something good for the next person? We don’t get to experience the person we’ve made better. We are the ones who are hurt in the process and the ones that people learn from. - - I always ended up being the one who cried or got upset, and I had every bloody excuse under the sun. Maybe he would change, maybe he wouldn’t do this again, maybe it was just a one off. After all, we’re all human and make mistakes. - - Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. - - - - #woods #nature #landscape #blogger #grass #leaves #autumn #sabrina #halloween #halloweencostume #discoverunder10k #manchester #singlelife #relationship #feminist #feminist #manchesterblogger #manchestergirl #singlegirl #law #lawblog #legallyblonde #exboyfriend #life #motivation #selfconfidence

🎃 "You're only supposed to start missing things after you've said goodbye to them, right?" - Sabrina Spellman 🎃 📸 @oh_so_t - - All the Sabrina vibes and I’m so happy of how this photo turned out! I wanted a moody kind of shot. - - Despite the fact it was raining, I was damp and covered in leaves and probs spiders, it was worth it! - - We also saw deers half way through trying to get this shot 😁😁 • • • • #halloween #sabrina #nature #leaves #sabrinaspellman #sabrinatheteenagewitch #netflix #landscape #dunhammassey #manchesterblogger #manchester #feminist #feminism #singlegirl #singlelife #blogger #photography #photo #naturephotography #me #model #discoverunder10k #legallyblonde #law #weblognorth

❤️ Everyone thinks that they know a bloggers life, and everything they do, but you see about 10%. We share with you what we want to share. For me, there are things I’ve always said I’d keep off my blog, and that includes any changes in my family life and any relationships (unless I really want to share them). These past few months haven’t been easy, and it doesn’t help when you have this expectation to continue to strive and talk about what you believe. Blogging has taken a back burner the past couple of months, and thank god because I think the pressure of my blog may have burned me out way more ❤️ 📸 @oh_so_t • • • #blogging #blog #blogger #autumn #landscape #life #photography #park #nature #autumnvibes🍁 #leaves #dunhammassey #lawlife #lawblog #feminist #discoverunder10k #selflove #wellness #motivation #me #lifestyle #manchester #manchesterblog

EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT LIFE ❤️ 1. Life is difficult. Life is hard. It wasn’t meant to be easy. It wasn’t meant to be a walk in the park. Life was made to try us every day, and to test us every day. - 2. People will love you, like you and hate you. Not everyone will like you, and that’s fine. You’re not here to impress people. So what if you’re not liked by 5000 people? What if you have 3 close friends? If you’re disliked, you’re doing something right (or maybe you’re not, but it sounds better with the right inserted). - 3. You will fuck up. And you will fuck up bad sometimes. You will break hearts. You will make people feel as if they let you down. You will make mistakes. You will say the wrong thing. But keep going darling, because no one is perfect. - 4. Books are the gateway to the past. We have to learn and read about history to understand what we should do next. We can’t repeat the same things over again. - 5. You can’t bury your head in the sand and pretend that things aren’t happening around you. Our world is OUR responsibility. Unfortunately, privilege can make ignorant and feel like they don’t have to follow world issues. I’m kind of sick of people who have the resources and the intelligence to follow world issues, but don’t. - 6. Giving back your time to people less fortunate is the best thing you can do. It’s rewarding, grounding and keeps you understanding of how other people live. - 7. Relationships, dating and love are something I will never understand. And that’s okay. I don’t think anyone quite understands how that thing works. - 8. Sex is normal and people act as if it isn’t. Have as much sex as you want, have as little sex as you want, but stop shaming each other for SEX. - 9. Looking after yourself is way more important than we seem to believe sometimes. You are blessed with one body in this life, and we should cherish and care for it. We should give it the love it deserves. - 10. Life is too short, life is so short. Every minute, every second, every week counts. So what are you going to do next? - - #lifestyle #lblogger #lifelessons #law #lawstudent #legallyblonde #legally #lawblog #feminism #feminist #feministblogger #blog #manchester

From the age of 7, I was told that I was weird, different, ugly, freaky, boring, nerdy, plain. Until the age of around 13 I was bullied, and I continued to feel excluded and made to feel small by so called ‘friends’. I was told I was ugly, no boy would ever like me... because who would like someone like me? I began to self harm at 14 because I felt like I had to punish myself because I was so ugly, and because I didn’t fit in. I just wanted to be as pretty as some of the other girls, I just wanted boys to notice me. I wanted boys to say nice things, not make me cry in front of people. - - I didn’t enjoy my teenage years, for a multitude of reasons, but all the pain I felt continued with me for years after. I tried to fit in and I tried to be pretty- and it still has an impact on me every now and then. I had girls who would laugh at me, or joke about me in the playground. I had ‘friends’ who wouldn’t support me against these bullies. I was told I couldn’t hang out with certain people. I was made to feel so small, so worthless and so unattractive. - - To some of us, bullying seems like such a small thing, but when you’re a teenager things leave scars. Literally and metaphorically. As an adult woman, I can take on anyone now who treats me like shit and I can speak my mind. And I have a support group who will back me up. As an adult woman, I can reclaim all the shitty things they called me. - - Maybe I am different, maybe I am weird, but maybe that’s what makes us all human. Maybe I was plain, but maybe I was lost in a world that made us all believe we should be one thing. Maybe I was nerdy, but look at where I am now. Success is the biggest revenge against anyone who has done you wrong in the past. - - Who wants to be normal? That’s boring. - - #bullying #stopbullying #personal #me #fashion #manchesterblogger #blogger #singlegirl #singlelife #citylife #city #influencer #motivation #recovery #love #lifestory #bullyingawareness #awareness #teenagegirls #selflove #success #feminist #lawblogger #legallyblonde #feminism

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