I look back on that time as something that almost broke. It almost broke me, because I felt a let down. I wasn’t how a woman should act…
Many who know me will understand I’m unapologetic, I’m truthful, I’m a realist… I’m everything that society doesn’t want a woman to be.
Growing up, there were so many expectations of what a woman should be. Kind, gentle, soft spoken, submissive, maternal, clean… everything that a woman was expected to be. I didn’t want to be those things, I didn’t want to be what society expected of me.
As a teenager, I looked at other girls and thought there was something wrong with me. Why was I not pretty? Why didn’t I care about boys fancying me? Why did I not care about my appearance, or make up, or how I did my hair in the morning? Honestly, I didn’t care about how I looked when I left for school. I didn’t care about how boys viewed me or what they thought of me. It was the least of my worries.
I was very determined to show the world and everyone around me that you could achieve what you wanted. That you could do what you wanted and become who you wanted. Then, I left school and I achieved the grades that I wanted. I’d showed that I could overcome what had been expected of me.
Growing up can be a difficult part of life. Turning from a teenager into an adult is a difficult transition for everyone. With my period haunting me, spots, braces and hormones, it was a really difficult time. Admittedly, I said things I probably regret, but I look back on that time as something that almost broke. It almost broke me, because I felt a let down. I wasn’t how a woman should act, I was never going to settle down, or find someone who loved me, who would love a… bitch?
I was considered a bitch. I like to see myself as a Nasty Woman though, so please call me that instead.
And, I write this because I can imagine many other girls find themselves in this position. All you have to do is reach out to Facebook, Twitter… it shows that many others understand this struggle.
That we live an ‘equal’ society, that is anything but equal.
As I grew into a woman, I started to accept who I am. I don’t have marriage goals, I don’t want children, I don’t like to clean, I don’t like to cook, I swear… I do everything that isn’t expected. And to be fair, I don’t really give a shit (see what I did there?). I like to be a nasty woman, and I accept that label with pride. If people are unhappy with us, then we’re making some change in the world.
I will tell you what I think, I will argue with you, I will achieve what I want, and you won’t get in my way.
I believe that gender norms really need throwing out the window- someone needs to erase them. They crush boys and girls into what we think they should be, and it damages way more than we expect.
I have grown into a nasty woman, I accept that I’m not what society wants of me, but I don’t care. However, how many more out there are growing up believing they are not enough?
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