‘The marks humans leave are too often scars’ – John Green.
Pain is something we all feel, and probably not something you wish for when you wake up in the morning. For me, pain is a part of my life, it is something I feel most days. However, I like to think of my physical pain as something that reminds me I’m alive. I’m still breathing, I’m still fighting, I’m still going.
That’s why I wanted to write this blog post. I have had this idea for a while now and I have considered my own pain for a long time. I have tried to turn my pain into something good. I have tried to make pain my new best friend.
I believe my pain is good for me. My body is working to keep me going.
Pain is only temporary. And, I know this is probably so cliche, but I’m a great believer that pain eventually passes. I’m not pointing to the physical pain, even though that is something we can overcome, but the mental pain. The emotions we feel that are so painful we can’t even comprehend them.
I have had times where I felt like the twisting in my ribs would never end. I have felt like the world was going to end. I couldn’t see a light in the dark in front of me. I have felt pain so bad that I wondered how the human body could stand the pain. Then I realised that pain is the thing that keeps us going. It is our motivation. It is why we choose to change our lives.
If we are around something toxic, that is hurting us, we find a better situation for ourselves.
Pain is something we too often tend to fear. We fear the moment that someone causes us pain; we live our lives trying to avoid the pain. However, we were not built to be fragile. You weren’t made to keep your body wrapped up away from the world. You weren’t born to hide from the sadness in the world. At one time, we will all face pain, and it is something we should greet, warmly. Pain should be like coming home. It should be something we welcome into our lives, because, sometimes, we need that pain. We need to feel that heartbreak. To move on from sadness, pain has to enter your life.
Now, this is a pretty weird opinion, but rather than hating pain, I believe we should see it as a friend. Our pain comes from our body. It is us feeling. It is a normal thing for us humans. From a personal point of view, I spent too long seeing pain as a punishment and something I should use to punish myself. I saw pain as my greatest enemy. I think that is what caused me so much anguish and hurt in my life.
It turned me into a hurtful person because I thought the pain was undeserved.
Pain is difficult for all of us. I don’t exactly want the pain, but I know it is something I must feel to get through life. I have to feel the heartbreak, I have to feel the break down and I have to feel my sadness. It’s healthy to see your pain as a friend.
Now, when pain arrives, I don’t shut the door and it tramples it’s way back in. I open the door, offer it a seat and let it stay. Pain is a visitor that comes back to see me again, and again, and again. I no longer fear it’s return, I am no longer scared of it in my nightmares. I understand my pain is good for me, and I know it is keeping me alive.
The moment you have to be scared of is the moment you stop feeling pain. The moment you can no longer feel the heartbreak. When you no longer feel what you are passionate about. When you stop caring.
The sad reality is that pain is something we all experience. It is a natural feeling for human beings. You have to feel the pain to know something is wrong. The pain has to be ridden like an ocean. You have to ride those waves until you reach land. And, I can say this, because I have done that more times than I can remember. I have felt the pain. I have felt that burning in my chest, that choking in my throat. That moment before you cry, when everything seems to stop. The world feels calm for a moment. As you wait for the pain to erupt from your chest. The pain can be excruciating.
However, then, when the pain finally settled, the world seemed a brighter place. Everything seemed clearer. My pain helped me to see the world again. It created new beginnings, it brought me new people and it changed my outlook.
When pain knocks again, I’ll be waiting for a catch up.