This date came about very strangely. My dad had previously mentioned him to me, as he knew of his family, and had even tried to set us up. I very quickly told my father to please keep out of my dating life. I never thought I’d come across this guy again.
Not so long after, I found myself back on the dreaded app that we all don’t want to admit that we use. As I was swiping, a familiar face appeared. It was Hagrid (what we are going to call him for this post), in all his beardy glory. Out of curiosity, I decided to swipe back and we instantly matched. Had I actually wanted this or did it feel more out of obligation? It was awkward. Maybe he did actually know who I was, and was going to pop up and shout some kind of surprise.
Oh, I kind of bloody hoped not.
He seemed like a gentleman… he seemed nice. I mean he was actually kind of attractive and very tall…. I didn’t realise how tall until I met him for the first time.
We engaged in some awkward conversation about the fact I knew who he was, but he didn’t know who I was. Finally, he found out I knew his family and then we started to text every now and then.
Hagrid had a few irritating factors about him. He moaned when I didn’t respond to his messages and told me I was crap at replying, ignored my response to questions he’d asked and then he took years to actually suggest a date. Well, it was suggestion of drinks. I was unsure. Did I want to actually go on a date with this guy? I was unsure. He sort of awkwardly avoided me and seemed to be judging me, trying to decide if he actually wanted to go on a date with me.
I saw him during one of my work shifts and he seemed extremely awkward with me. It confused the hell out of me, and I wasn’t sure if I had time to mess around with these kind of men anymore. The ones who weren’t sure what they wanted, and kept you at a distance for a bit. The crux finally fell when I came home after one shift and he was in my house. I decided to try to get a word out of him.
He asked me on a date and I agreed to go out with him. What did I have to lose? Just because I was wallowing in a pool of self pity, didn’t mean I couldn’t try out a date with someone. He seemed charming, and said he would arrange the whole date. He told me he would pick me up at a certain time and kept the whole date a secret.
Let’s be honest. The keeping a date secret is always kind of cute but it’s also a nightmare. I had no idea what to wear, whether I should eat and whether I could wear heels. I was worried he had booked some kind of outdoor adventure course and I’d spend most of the date tripping over myself. I seemed to have a habit of going for sporty men when I was as far from sporty as I could go. He arrived perfectly on time, dressed well and even said I looked nice as I came out of the house. We walked to the car and then proceeded to make small talk.
I still had no clue what we were doing. I’d considered the idea of mini golf, but then hoped not because sometimes my hand eye co-ordination wasn’t the best. Hagrid knew this after I’d mentioned it once or twice. He seemed to like every kind of sport under the sun, basically spent his life in the gym and seemed super competitive. Of course, it could be mini golf.
We continued to drive and then I realised where we were going. We were definitely going to play mini golf, on a Saturday evening at what is possibly the busiest place around me. It would be full of children- and it was. Not the most romantic date, but at least it meant we didn’t have to sit awkwardly across from each other and try to make small talk. We could just make small talk whilst small children ran around us, and I attempted to hit a ball into a hole and greatly failed.
Actually, I proudly and completely out of sheer luck managed to get one or two hole in ones. My heeled boots had kind of come in handy, I had a little bit of height on him. Once or twice, I caught him looking at my arse and felt like hitting him with the golf club, but I let it slip.
The conversation turned deep incredibly quickly and he started to tell me of his ex and his heartbreaking story of how they ended. I thought it was quite possible he was probably still in love with her. He told me all about the break up, how his life and spiralled and everything he was planning on doing. And here was me, with a slightly less dramatic break up, a ghosting experience and a shaky at times love life under my belt. He was a little older than me, so seemed to have some life experience, but here was me feeling like a small child in every sense.
Not surprisingly, he won the game and we decided to grab a drink or two. I opted for a G&T, which I would have loved at the start of the date if I was being honest. Maybe if I drank more gin, I could continue to listen to stories of his ex and not call him out on it. At one point, I felt kind of bad for him and the fact his ex seemed to have just left him one day, but then I went the complete opposite way with one sentence.
“You’re the first blogger I’ve dated… actually, no, I’ve been on a date with another blogger.”
My facial expression probably said it all. Hagrid tried to explain I probably wouldn’t know who she was as he’d met her in London but I told her that bloggers all kind of knew each other. He mentioned that he’d had a blog post or two written about him, and the red flags instantly appeared in my head. I knew that I’d only tend to write a post about someone if they pissed me off, or I liked them- there was no in between. I was starting to question this person.
The date just descended into absolute hell when he pulled out his phone and showed me the blog post. Yes, let me repeat that for those who are still in shock. He SHOWED me the blog post he’d had written about him. I flicked through it quickly, and gaged that she’d painted him as an absolute arsehole. He tried to assure me that it was not how it went, and she had greatly exaggerated everything about him. Though, if this guy was anonymous, and hadn’t publicly humiliated her, then why would she feel the need to blast this guy so much?
I picked out a few things as I read this damning blog post. This blogger really did not like Hagrid in the slightest.
Not at all.
“You don’t like period sex?” “No, I find it gross, I have a phobia of it”
“I hadn’t been laid for weeks”
By this time, Hagrid was starting bore me with his laddish behaviour and his constant mentioning of ‘I’m not a gentleman’…yeh, that’s what we all want to hear on a first date. We get it Hagrid, your lads holiday in Maga was probably the best of your life, you’re going through the rebellious post-break up phase and you’re a private school boy who says vile things.
He told me in depth sex details and I looked at him as if he’d just mentioned how he’d murdered someone. I couldn’t grasp how this date had turned so horrendously wrong. I had no intention of talking about my previous dating experience but when I did, he slandered one of the men calling him ‘immature’… I had nothing to say back to Hagrid. I was sipping my second G&T rather quickly. Maybe if I was drunk his weird conversation wouldn’t seem so bad. I just couldn’t deal with the continuous mention of his ex, the blogger he’d dated and all his weird stories. This date had gone so badly.
We decided to leave and we drove home in a weirdly awkward silence. He mentioned how he’d liked the evening and I grimaced back. I just wasn’t so sure after that discussion. It wasn’t exactly first date material.
He walked me to the gate and awkwardly said a ‘see you later’ before walking away. I was kind of in weird shock. The date had just ended with an abrupt goodbye. No discussion of if this would happen again. I didn’t text after it ended, and I kind of had no intention of texting him.
I decided to read the blog post again that night, and realised just how strange this person seemed, and from what I’d seen, most of it seemed fairly believable. The blog post had mentioned how he’d tried to avoid this girl for weeks, after they’d been on a few dates. Ghosting wasn’t exactly something I used, but I had nothing to say to this man.
It had been one date.
And he was the one who’d awkwardly walked off and left me weirded out a little.
He seemed to get the picture after trying to contact me some more, and then a picture of me emerged on my instagram story which he responded to. He asked me why I’d ignored him- my response was short and succinct.
I was dating someone who I’d dated previously and wasn’t looking to date anyone else. I realised I probably shouldn’t have ghosted, but I was a rubbish at hurting people’s feelings. I hated rejecting people.
Maybe it was shit of me, but after all, he’d tried the exact same thing with the blogger before me.
Maybe it was karma.
Or maybe bloggers just stick with each other.
Next time you want to try the dating game, give JigTalk a go! No awkward silences, no wasted matches and plenty of people who want to judge you on your personality, and NOT your looks.