They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone. I can in fact tell you that it isn’t.
And maybe that will work, for an hour or two, until you remember that pain. That burning in your chest. That aching. That feeling of loss because that person is gone. And they aren’t coming back.
You’re probably coming to this post because you’re facing a break up. Maybe you just got cheated on. Maybe someone who you thought loved you, doesn’t love you. You saw this post and thought it could provide you with all the magic answers.
I’m sad to tell you that it won’t. There is no way to move on. There is no magical way to move on from someone who held your heart for so long. Someone who held you close, who wiped your tears, who cheered you on. Who was your person.
You don’t move on with one magical move, or one quote on Pinterest. The only thing that can heal us is time. For some of us, it may be a month. For others, it could be a year.
I have always had the same approach to moving on, which is to jump straight on a dating app and switch off my emotions. It sounds like a stupid thing, but it is the way I try to cope. I try to fill my time with other people who will tell me nice things and who will make me feel better. They will provide me with some temporary company.
I know many of us have this way of coping. Jumping straight back into the dating scene, when you need time to heal your own heart. You need to let yourself learn from this pain. And take heed in the emotions that come from this break up. It’s normal. You can’t just ‘move on’. People who moved from relationship to relationship are not taking anytime to heal themselves, or to better themselves from what they have learned.
You can’t do that.
I think the truth about moving on is… you don’t.
We use moving on as such a point scoring tactic. It is an insult towards the person we once loved. And, no matter how much we want to pretend we didn’t love them; they were once our world.
Our feelings for someone do not disappear over night. We do not wrap them in a box and then lock them away.
We can’t replace them with another person.
We can’t fuck them away.
We don’t move on.
That is the beauty of being human. The heart ache, and the loss, but then we find someone who makes us feel more than they did.
We find someone who fits into all those tiny boxes that our previous partner didn’t.
‘Moving on’ is such a societal expectation, but what if we don’t want to move on? I don’t want forget the memories, the photos, the times that person was everything to me.
Why would I want to?