I have not blogged for a few weeks now, and that is due to a few reasons.
One is that I have been taking a break from socialising with people, and in turn this has led to me taking time from social media. I didn’t mean to take such a while from talking to people, but it sort of happened, and it is helping me.
I just don’t have the energy to continue conversations or deal with people. My temper is short at the moment, and I don’t want to try and explain myself. Does that make me a bitch? I have found that texting people back just drains me.
I was reaching a point with social media, itself, where I was on most apps most days. I was one text or snapchat away, and I was easy to reach. I was responding to things and seeing most things that were happening. It was leading to a point where I had headaches half the time, and I have one now whilst I write this, because I was responding to texts or responding to people so much. I was damaging my mental health and my physical health.
I was feeling groggy, I was constantly comparing myself to other people, I was feeling like no one liked me, and it was making me an incredibly difficult version of myself. It led to a relapse, which unfortunately is not what I wanted to happen, but it shook me up.
There is a different energy that goes into texting people rather than scrolling down your instagram and shutting it off. On social media, I don’t have to explain myself or apologise because I’ve been away for a while. I feel like texting and responding to people takes so much effort to even do in the first place.
Truthfully, I don’t have the energy at the moment to provide people with love or support they need over a text, because I can’t even do it for myself.
And, rather than previous times where I’ve pretended I’m fine and supported others, I have found myself not texting people back. And, maybe it’s selfish, maybe I’m not being the best friend, but I am drained. I can’t be the best friend or my best self, until I take time for myself.
That is the message I am spreading with this post, that sometimes, even though they tell us to talk about it, we all need a break from socialising and being ‘that’ friend. You can’t be superhero until you save yourself.