As a dating expert… or just someone who is really unlucky when it comes to dating, and spends her life trying to find the ‘right’ person, I think I have a fair understanding of the dating world.
When I was a fledgling dater, I thought I would never be one of those people who played around. I would go on one date with one person, and that would be how it would go every time I dated someone new.
I thought it was all about loyalty and being a good little girl who didn’t play around with different men. Also, I didn’t quite have the confidence to text one man one day, and then text another the next day.
I was also fairly terrified of men. I hadn’t date in around 4 years, so the whole experience was like learning to ride a bike again… let’s not take that into such a literal context.
It sounds weird to say I was terrified of men. I was though. As a young girl, I had not got along with boys, mainly because they spent a lot of time making fun of me due to the fact I was different… I don’t think any of them are laughing though now.
Anyway, my first year of dating was dedicated to one person, because I thought I had to stay loyal. And, that really left me nowhere when it went badly.
I had one egg in my basket and that little shit had rolled out and cracked before I could even cook it.
I took a slight break from dating, because I just cba’d really hard (god that English degree paid off) and I didn’t have time for men. I had the odd thing with one of two guys, who I never saw again, but that was how far I took the dating thing.
I decided about a month or two ago that I was going to give this another go. I had a job, and I had goals and I possibly had time to have some fun and maybe meet someone new.
I wanted to see what the dating scene could offer me- however this time I decided I wouldn’t commit to someone so early. And it did me wonders.
I slowly gained my confidence with talking to different guys and seeing who sparked my interest. I’ve even been on a few dates with different guys, and I really bloody enjoy it.
However, why does this seem like such a bad thing? From when we were young, we have learned to accept that men will be talking to different women until they commit to one woman.
And, even then… the seeing different women doesn’t stop. Ya nasty.
However, if we (as a collective of single and very loving women) decide to see different men, suddenly everyone loses their shit. They don’t understand how we keep track.
Just the same way that all the men throughout history kept track of their lovers, and mistresses… maybe just slightly differently.
I don’t think they had Tinder in the 18th century and phones so we could call them ‘guy 1’ ‘guy 2’… but we get the gist.
It has become the new norm for women to date around, and play the men just like they play us.
We’re all just playing one big game.
And, I for one, am praising this new trend that is becoming more and more okay for women.
We can now date as many men as we want before we find the one who suits us.
We don’t have to waste years of our life committing to someone who for sure is never going to commit to us.
We are no longer left out in the cold when we’re dumped.
We’ve spent so long being called and disgraced for being sexually aware, open and free to do what we please.
Women are no longer the audience; we’re right in the middle of the game.
And we’re not giving in anytime soon.