Everyone always talks about ‘settling down’ and having a family. It sounds like you put aside your life and just become a mum for the rest of your life, with nothing else to you.
I don’t like to call it ‘settling down’, because the use of ‘settling’ has always left me feeling very uneasy. For a few reasons, I never want to settle with someone or anything. Why would I want to just feel okay about something? Why would I want to stay with someone because they left me feeling vaguely satisfied? (In or out of the bedroom???)
Only for the past year, have I come to the realisation that I don’t have to date anyone. I don’t have to have a man texting me or talking to me every day. But for most of my life, even since I was a young girl, I have not wanted to be married or have a boyfriend.
Marriage hasn’t been the whole dream. The dream has been having a career, and having dreams and chasing them. I’ve dreamed to be intelligent, educated, powerful and downright kickass.
For some women, this is the goal. And, that’s fine if that’s what you want. For me though, I won’t settle for a life or a marriage that is mediocre.
I wasn’t raised to be a mediocre woman. I was raised to kick the living hell out of the world. I have been constantly challenged to be a better woman, and to be a better person.
When I date, or when I choose to go on a date, I constantly think what the man I’m on a date with will bring to my life. Are they going to bring me love? Are they going to bring me joy? Are they going to be my partner in crime?
If I can’t think of one positive thing they will bring, and sometimes lots of positive things, I don’t want to date that person. I don’t want to settle for someone just because they make me feel loved and validated.
To me, settling is a fear. I don’t want to settle. I want to be happy, content, and knowing what I am still achieving everything I want in life.
To me, settling is a pass on everything amazing that life can offer us.
I want to continue to grow into a woman who is sure of her life. I want to continue my passions and keep my flame burning. And I want someone and a life that will keep that fire alight.
I never want to settle, because to settle is to put aside what you want from life. Life is too short, life is too small, life passes too soon.
Every day counts, and I intend to make every day perfect and worth it.
The day I find someone who makes me do the heart eyes, and has me falling over their desire to be motivated in life- I won’t be settling, I’ll be adding a partner to my amazing journey in life.